spaceballsfandomcom-20200213-history
Sandurz
'Colonel Sandurz '''is the main commander under Dark Helmet's command, he is less bratty than Helmet, smarter than President Skroob, and not as big an asshole as the Assholes, but none of that is saying much. He is also a spoof of Grand Moff Tarkin from ''Star Wars. Colonel Sandurz was portrayed by George Wyner, who did not reprise this role in the animated series. In the movie Colonel Sandurz is first seen on Spaceball I, receiving news from Sargeant Rico that Planet Druidia is in sight. This conversation makes him the first major character to deliver any spoken lines. After Dark Helmet boards Spaceball I, Colonel Sandurz takes him to see Mr. Radar (after stopping by Mr. Coffee). He reminds Helmet of the Spaceballs' plan to save Planet Spaceball by stealing all the air from Druidia. First, they must kidnap Princess Vespa, and convince her father, King Roland to give them the code to Druidia's air shield. Dark Helmet sees the runaway princess in range and proceeds to kidnap her. King Roland proceeds to make an offer with Lone Starr and Barf to rescue her for 1,000,000 spacebucks. Once Lone Starr gets in position, he and Barf jam Spaceball I's radar with a giant jar of raspberry jam, then Barf helps Vespa and Dot Matrix board their ship, the Eagle 5. As the jam leaks all over the radar screen, Dark Helmet proclaims that his old enemy, Lone Starr, must be trying to foil their scheme. Spaceball I then pursues the Eagle 5, before it goes into Hyperactive (parody of Star Wars' Hyperspace). Dark Helmet orders Spaceball I to go into "Ludicrous Speed" to catch up. Sandurz tries to warn him of the dangers, but forwards the command to speed up after Helmet asks, "What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? Chicken?" This only results in the ship passing over the Eagle 5, and Dark Helmet nearly getting a concussion as they abruptly come to a stop. At Colonel Sandurz's suggestion, Dark Helmet uses an "instant cassette" of ''Spaceballs ''to track the heroes to the Moon of Vega. An attempt by the henchmen to "comb the desert" for them proves fruitless until they ditch the giant combs, and Helmet uses the Schwartz to track Vespa down to Yogurt's lair. He lures Vespa into his grasp by disguising as her father. Dark Helmet demands King Roland that he give the code to Planet Druidia's air shield, or else he will have Vespa undergo a nose job that would undo the one she received for her 16th birthday. As Roland gives in, Colonel Sandurz records the combination on a notepad: 1-2-3-4-5. He also accidentally turns off the movie while trying to hang up on Roland. President Skroob joins Dark Helmet and Colonel Sandurz on Spaceball I to witness the destruction of Druidia. After Spaceball I opens the air shield, it transforms into Mega Maid and begins sucking the air up into a giant vacuum cleaner. However, Lone Starr foils the plan as he uses The Schwartz to switch Mega Maid's vacuum from "suck" to "blow", blowing all the air back onto the planet. After Lone Starr tricks Helmet into pushing the self-destruct button, President Skroob asks Colonel Sandurz if they can stop the imminent explosion, but Sandurz answers by saying that the command is irreversible. Everyone scrambles to reach escape pods while the Spaceballs theme song blasts out of the fourth wall. When the countdown reaches the last 20 seconds, it informs Skroob, Helmet, and Sandurz that they can still push the cancellation button. Unfortunately, Sandurz finds it went out of order. He, Helmet, and Skroob ultimately get left behind, and then blasted to the Planet of the Apes. Trivia * Colonel Sandurz's name is a pun on "Colonel Sanders", the founder and mascot of Kentucky Fried Chicken. This is lampshaded when Dark Helmet calls him a "chicken." * It is possible that Colonel Sandurz knows that Dark Helmet likes to play with dolls, because he says in one scene, "No, sir. I didn't see you playing with your dolls again." * Colonel Sandurz's rank on the 5-Bad Band would be the Evil Genius, since he has more intelligence than most of the other antagonists in the series. Category:Individuals Category:Spaceballs